7 Great Secrets Your Partner Might Kept You From Knowing
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If keeping a secret creates
emotional distance between you and your partner, it should be spilled.
These types of secrets can impact your spouse and your life together — a
medical condition, financial or legal troubles, an addiction to drugs
or alcohol, serious discontent in the relationship, goals that no longer
correspond to those of your spouse (i.e., you’ve decided you’d rather
devote energy to your career rather than having another child).
That said, there are some secrets we really shouldn't beat ourselves up about.
1. “He’s not the best lover I’ve ever had”
Marcy (names changed), 35, admits
that while her husband of five years knows she had her share of lovers
before they met, he also believes none compare to him. Marcy says,
“While I love sex with Rich because I love
2. “Sometimes I sneak junk food”
“My husband is a health freak and
I believe in eating healthy as well… but sometimes, well, I crave
junk,” Says Elaine. Laughing, the 28-year-old, married for four years,
admits, “Once a month I hide Oreos in the car and sneak out and eat
them. Then I pop some Listerine strips and go back into the house.”
him and I don’t want to be
with anyone else, sometimes when we have sex I fantasize about an ex of
mine, David, who was — well, totally, mind-blowingly skilled in bed!”
3. “My mother thinks he’s not good enough for me”
“Bill and I only visit my family a
few times a year since they live out of state,” explains 30-year-old
Lorraine. She adds, “The truth is, Brad Pitt, Mark Zuckerberg, any titan
— no one would have been deserving of her precious child.” Since
Lorraine’s husband of eight years is “extremely sensitive” she sees no
reason to hurt his feelings when “there is nothing he can do to change
his mother-in-law’s mind.”
4. “I keep my friend’s confidences to myself”
“A lot of women feel that when
their friends say, ‘Please don’t tell this secret to anyone,’ it doesn’t
apply to their mates. I’m not like that,” says Joanne. Married 15
years, the 48-year-old says, “Years back I felt betrayed when my former
college roommate told her husband all about a fight I’d had with my
husband Jeff. She and I patched up the friendship but I didn’t feel I
could trust her anymore. I don’t want to be that kind of friend, and
Jeff is fine with my policy and won’t press me.”
5. “I check my ex-boyfriend’s status updates on Facebook”
Confides Sheila, happily married
for six years: “I’m not Facebook friends with my ex but his status
updates aren’t privacy-protected, and sometimes, well, if I’m bored or
curious, I check to see what he’s up to.” The 33-year-old says, “I
won’t ever contact my ex so there is nothing for my husband to be
threatened by, so why upset him to know once in a while I still wonder
how Tom is doing.”
6. “I spent $200 on a handbag”
Glenda swears she would confide
in her husband of 12 years if she had shopaholic tendencies but a
once-in-a-long-while splurge is no one’s business but her own. Says the
41-year-old, “We have separate checking accounts and if I use my own
money for something I can well afford that makes me happy, I feel fine
about keeping that secret.”
7. “I don’t always tell him when I do something stupid”
Jeannine is a self-described
“space cadet.” The 54-year-old, married 26 years, laughs, “I’m always
losing my glasses, keys, forgetting where I parked the car…” Since
Jeannine is “tired” of her husband’s attempts to get her to focus and be
less careless, she only selectively confides her latest misadventures.
“I am who I am and I’m not always in the mood for a lecture
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